Wait, I love you?
by Kelper142
Summary: Link likes Ike. Ike is 'straight'. Peach is dating him. So is Fox, but that's a secret. Peach and Marth are bitches. So, what happens when Link tells Ike his secret? What will Ike do? What will Link's boyfriend do?
1. One Step Closer to a Bitch

" I know!" Link yelled at Samus who was trying to tell him that Ike was straight.

"It's just, I don't want you to get hurt... You know what I would do to that bastard if he hurt you."

" He hasn't done anything yet. Besides, my sword is magical, unlike his hunk of metal."

" I'm so telling Ikey that! Now, you'll now where you stand. Taa-taaaa!" A blonde woman said as she passed the two.

" Fuck you, Peach!" Samus called after her. "I can't wait for the brawl today, it's Snake, Wolf, and I against a Gigantic Peach in stamina mode. She's got the advantage though."

"Hehe, c'mon!" Link said as he dragged the woman into their shared room. "What do ya wanna eat?" Link asked.

"Peach's pride!" Samus yelled. Link laughed and handed her a sandwhich. "Thanks, mom." Samus said.

"Fine! You can make your own sandwiches from now on!" Link said. "I'mma go spy on Ike!" Link said and left.

"No, you aren't. Leave Peach's BF alone! Just because you're a slut doesn't mean he is."

" Oh, hell to the no!" Samus called from inside. She rushed out to help her friend in full armor. "Who're you calling a slut? Must be yourself considering you are wearing a dress made of see through stuff and I can see those black panties. You are the slut!" Samus said. Marth brought out his sword.

"This is a goddamn cloak!" Marth called as he drew his sword and brought it to Samus' arm.

" Yeah right! You couldn't pull that off even with help." Link said and he brought out his sword and shielded Marth's next attack.

"Bitch!" Marth said and brought down his sword on a bookshelf. Snake showed up and assesed the situation. He then made the hall an arena quickly and brought down a panel so he could control the item flow. The stage was 'Luigi's Mansion'.

"Smash Ball incoming!" Snake yelled at them. They all looked for it until Samus jumped and hit it many times. She gained a glow around her and readied her shot at Marth.

"Take this, Marthypoo" Samus said as she unleashed the zero laser onto Marth's body. Link laughed as Marth screamed, "I'll kill you bastards!" While he flew.


	2. Two Steps to Love

"Good job! Samus, I can't say you did the best but, that was awesome." Snake smiled and patted Samus on the back. He then started to walk down the hall, but Marth caught up to him and called him a scooter whore. Snake ran the other way down the hall and brushed Link's ass along the way.

"Oh!" Link exclaimed as he blushed.

" Sorry! Bye!" Snake said as he ran for his life. "No, I'm not" He muttered under his breath. Unfortanately, Marth heard that, so ( as all bitches do ) Marth said, " Oh! Nevermind, I've got my payback, hmmmhmmm." That last part was a chuckle.

* * *

_Why?! Why did I have to screw myself over again?! I didn't ask him, but I did brush his cheeks. I can't go on like this; I'mma ask him out so I don't have to say sorry when I touch that damn ass! ~David_

* * *

The Next Day...

"Hey! Link!" Snake yelled down the hallway.

"Hi Snake!" Link responded and flashed a smile. He had perfect hair and beautiful eyes. If only he wasn't in love with that Ike boy.

" I-I was wondering if you wanna out go... Aw Damn! I was gonna ask you to... Aw, who cares?!" Snake yelled.

" Snap out of it!" Samus hissed. 'Do it already' she mouthed. Clearly she knew more than she should...

Snake nodded. "Will you g-go out with me?" Snake finally asked.

" Wait. Snake, you're capable of feeling fear?" Link giggled, handed Snake a note, grabbed Samus' hand, and ran down the hall.

'Dear Future Lover,

I want you to know that I am not a slut. Also, call Marth and Peach slander-ish things when you see them.

-Sincerely, Link, Your Love =

Snake smiled when he was finished reading.


	3. Three Steps Towards a Hot Mess

"OMG! Need to tell Ike!" A dog-ish figure ran towards dorm 16. "Link is with Snake." A panting Fox said.

" Keep up, Fox. Snake isn't gay. Even if he were, he'd want me first." Ike said confidently.

"No! They were just on the balcony having a nice dinner when Snake kissed Link!" Fox was getting angry at his boyfriend.

"Sure. Hey, could you go get Peach for me?" Ike asked.

"Not without a kiss and a please." Fox answered.

"I'll give you more than a kiss, c'mere!" Ike pulled Fox onto himself and started unbuckling his belt. "Hell yeah!"

* * *

Dorm 15; 12:47 p.m.; February 21, 2014-

"Eww. Keep it down over there, Celeste and Prudence!" Samus yelled. Celeste was Ike and Prudence was Peach.

"Who're you talking to, Samus?" Link asked from the door.

"The nextdoor sluts." Link nodded.

'_Ugh, Harder!'_ That was Fox moaning.

"What the hell?! Prudence! Celeste is cheating on you. That guy has more hair than you! I didn't know that was possible!" Samus yelled down the hallway. She then ran into Peach's dorm.

" What the hell?!" Peach screeched. "Get the hell out of here!" Link finally walked in.

"Fox is huhuh... In Ike's room huhuh... Moaning." Link got out. Samus just nodded. "I kinda thought you would be in there too but-" Link started after a long breath.

'_Jussssst for yoooooooou!' It was Ike..._

_"_IIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKEEEEEEE!" Peach ran down the hallway and jumped through the tiny window that was installed when Peach wanted Link to feel envious of her and Ike's 'kissing'.

"Yah!" Fox yelled as Peach smacked him with her Pan. Tabuu appeared and configured the settings through the panel above Link's head. He set it to Final Destination.

"You! (Bang) Cheating! (Bang) Bastarrrrrrrrrd!" Peach screeched and K.O.'d Ike, who was still nakey.


End file.
